Throw No Shade On A Paradigm Shift

I am feeling a wee bit serene these days. Yes, I've said it, serene. I'm experiencing a paradigm shift and it feels oh so good.  This bohemian journey would not be complete without one! Oh the things you learn when you have uninterrupted time on your hands to ponder your belief system and the path ahead.  Born and bred in the Deep South and raised in the Bible Belt, most of my ideologies on most any subject evolved from my southern fried rearing.  Whether it was the heat, humidity or the Holy fear of God, my perception of myself came about as a result of what was handed down to me.  As thankful as I am for the authentic precepts that I learned during my childhood, such as treat others as you would want to be treated, wash your hands before eating, effectively utilizing the words "please" and "thank you", I never questioned much else about the lessons I learned while growing up.  A peace settles upon me during this distinct moment in my life because somehow I am beginning to reflect upon certain things that I had always believed to be true for me and many of my counterparts. I am coming to a quiet acceptance that maybe a change in my world view is not only acceptable but well-fitting at this time in my life.  An original thought won't propel me to burst into flames afterall. Having my own perspective on things will not be deemed blasphemy at all.  The serenity prayers says it all, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."  Of the things I seek Divinity for, courage to change would definitely be at the top of my list.  It takes a brave soul to evaluate the beliefs of their youth.  How many of us actually sit down for a spell to sip on something sweet and dust off the dogma of our early years and the doctine of our familial upbringing? Very few of any of us question the why of what we do.  Case in point, I had an interesting an unrushed breakfast with a new friend whose insight is refreshing.  He asked me a question that provoked me to thought. One of the things that desperately needed a second look in my life would be my view on relationships.  This friend asked what was looking for, a companion or soul mate seeing as I had just proudly proclaimed that I would not be desiring marriage after age forty five.  Wow, "companion" or "soul mate."  Of course he went on to describe what he believed those two words meant but the truly liberating jewel I received from the question was the idea that I as a woman had the option of declining the idea of marriage after a certain age and considering the concept of enjoying either a companion or a soulmate.  Women are primarily raised to expect and work towards a certain sequence of events in their lives with the title of wife appearing somewhere near the top of the totem pole.  That was a paradigm shift for me.  I relish the idea of if I so choose to embrace an ideal as a possibility for my life, then so be it.  People who surround you may not understand your openness to contemplating a shift in the way you once saw things, but so be it.  They may even attempt to throw some shade on your new views, but so be it.  Take the peaceful plunge into a world of new ideas. You may not adopt them as your own, but simply knowing that they exist as options will delight you beyond measure.  Its like entering into a huge home, a mansion if you will and learning that there are many rooms to be explored. You don't have to stay in any of the rooms because there is always that leads you in and out of each of them.  How I view myself as a woman, a Black woman, a mother and a spirit having a human experience has radically changed and I love it!  In fact, I am wholeheartedly celebrating this serenity thing. I hope that you will too.