Nourishing My Roots

Who knew reclaiming my life or re establishing it would be this difficult? As unconventional and non traditional that I claim to be I still seek some routine in my wandering. I love the concept of roots and wings and at this point in my life as bohemian in spirit as I am want and need a home base. I may be flighty at times but I am that bird who still seeks to return her one tree branch. This is what I determined to accomplish by returning home nearly two months ago. As I strive to redesign my existence here in my home of origin I am often encountered bymany people I've known all my life. They are such sweet jewels to me, the men and women I've grown up around. They speak without uttering a word to the consistency that is home. Many times through social media I reconnect with other old friends and acquaintances that no longer live in my hometown. When asked how do I like being back "home" my response is that I actually love it. I may be bored and close to climbing the walls but I love it. I enjoy the familiarity and slower pace of life. I respect the genuine people that I am surrounded with, with them, what you see is what you get. I adore that. Being home is a breath of fresh air, well maybe not literally due to all of the petrochemical plants, but you get the point. Southwest Louisiana is home. I have not been banished here. It is not purgatory, nor am I on house arrest. I am free to come and go as I as I please. It still amazes me how silly and superficial some people can be. Remember, I am still working on ending my judgmental ways but it truly shocks me to unbelief how adults can place so much unnecessary weight on things such as where a person lives, what they drive or where they're employed. To me its all relative. The exterior landscape of my life means little if my internal is empty and void. Who wants a plush exterior when the interior is starved? I would rather be fueled from within and live on a small scale and be afforded the autonomy to travel as I desire. Yes I want a home and a nice benefits package that only a job can provide but I have no desire to collect things that will prevent me enjoying experiences meant to enrich my life and my son's. I still dream and I guess that's the roots and wings combination within me. I relish the opportunity to someday very soon go into my brand new field trip here in my hometown complete with a lovely benefits package and enhance the lives of my new coworkers and the clients I will serve. I will really look forward to using my newfound wisdom of leaving the day's ordeals on my desk when the clock says closing time as I exit stage left to my colorful life of service and experience. The real living is not the compensation that I will receive in the form of a direct deposit but the living is in the life that I plan to share and take joy in outside of my existence on someone's job. When you are not defined solely by the work from nine to five this can be achieved.

My wonderful hometown has its challenges just like any other place on the planet but its relative quiet, marginal cost of living and unpretentious way of life makes it an ideal place for me. Here I have family and the wherewithal to begin again. You can practically get anywhere here on either a bus or bicycle, of which I plan to try. I can maintain roots here at a very reasonable amount while still living an enjoyable life. I now toss my former complaints of there not being anything to do out the window. My maturity has kicked in and I remember that I am still reasonably young and the last I checked the interstate still runs through the city, I10 runs east and west with a host of other means of exiting the city should the need arise. Instead of frowning upon my roots and what's lacking here I am choosing to nourish my roots, to invest time in the beauty of my origins. This place is where I am from and is embedded in me.  No more wishing it were a different place.  Its not nor is it progressive, but it is my little piece of solace right now. I plan to water my roots, invest time in some small way in making where I've come from a better place in some small way. I will fertilize my roots with the optimism of my wings. Contentment and optimism can coexist.  While here on the daily I enjoy the sweet simple things such as long walks and visiting with the ducks by the lake. Spending time with my son is a neverending joy and challenge. I am contemplative and careful these days to find within everything something to be grateful for. I read and I read and I read some more. I have roots and wings. What could be better?