Considering Disability Benefits

Of my many character flaws, and there are oh so many, one of them that I am actively working on is my tendency to be judgemental.  Sometimes even when my opinion has not be solicited I have this phenomenal knack for conveying it anyway.  Coupled with sarcasm I critique things that I have great difficulty understanding such as people who wear their pajamas out in public, the Kardashian epidemic, poverty stricken Caucasians who vote for wealthy elitist Republicans, CeeLo's wardrobe selections, twenty two year olds with an excess of four children and white male arrogance. Those are just a few things that I clearly do not understand but often find myself critiquing. Alas, I am a work in progress.  Rather than attempting to comprehend why some things are the way they are or why some people think or act the way they do I simply must learn to look away. Judging others is a job fit for God alone, clearly He is the only one equipped to judge. Maybe I am not judging others after all and there could be another suitable way to describe my inability to understand the mindset and motivations of others. When I discover what its called I will be sure to inform everyone. Perhaps there are so many others who are also suffering from this disorder.  Hey, maybe it could be called Chronic Failure to Comprehend Foolishness. I'm going with that diagnosis.  Yes that's it I suffer from CFCF. I wonder if I can get a check for that.  It may be labeled a disability in today's culture. My severe inability to understand prevalent foolishness may render me ineffective in navigating successfully in the world. Yes, I should definitely consider applying for disability benefits. If D.L. Hughley attempted to get the Black man on the endangered species list then surely I can apply for disability benefits for my Chronic Failure to Comprehend Foolishness. The least assistance that I believe I should afforded is an interpreter. Possibly an interpreter would be helpful in translating the widespread foolishness to me.

I have been experiencing some difficulty in the work arena lately and I truly believe it may have a lot to do with my CFCF. In an administrative yet academic setting I have the joy of interacting with a diverse group of people.  Both the students and their parents keep me on my toes.  Every afternoon as I have shared previously I spend time with a wonderful group of elementary aged children who are enrolled in an after school program. My evenings typically begin with the beloved front office. By the time I arrive the dismissal process is in full swing and in comes foolishness like with all of the flambouyance and verve of a flaming gay entertainer complete with theme music. Now mind you I love working with people. I enjoy the anti routine consistency that it provides, although many people may come in requesting the same things, different faces, voices and attitudes keeps things quite lively. Redundancy tires me so. I am extremely passionate about helping people and brightening their day while I do so. My CFCF usually flares up when I am assisting at the front desk and a parent who is obviusly off their medication comes in to voice a complaint or make what I consider an insane request. The chief insane request of them of all is to ask me what your child's teacher's name is.  I have been asked this question many times and it still baffles me.  I have been asked this over the phone and in person and I am dumbfounded. My CFCF truly renders me incapcitated in such situations.  In fact in most cases for a very brief moment I am left speechless, temporarily mute.  I know that a response is warranted but my clear confusion at the idiocy of the request has shocked my nervous system.  I am basically stunned, sitting there either holding the phone or staring blankly into the eyes of the unmedicated parent. I am wondering at that moment if it is a trick question.  The parent has to know their child's teacher's name and is just questioning me if I know. Yes, that has to be it, its a trick question. The only thing is the parent is looking at me with expectancy as if I am going to answer them any moment.  My CFCF kicks in the symptoms show up before I can try to hide my condition.  Sarcasm and/or cynism appear without my trying to convey it. Its a natural reaction for a person with Chromic Failure to Comprehend Foolishness.  Its something like tourettes.  You see it is beyond me why a parent does not know their child's teacher's name primarily for two reasons: the Thanksgiving holiday is in all of but one week, how a parent does not know the name of the chief adult that their child has been spending the most time with for over two months is insane and it is an elementary school which means their child should be fairly verbal enough to speak. Can the parent not simply turn to little Johnny and ask him what his teacher's name is? Without my realizing it I always end up conveying that either of those two thoughts to the parent which tends to stir them up.  What these people fail to realize is that I am not well.  I have CFCF. All of my counterparts can answer these strange questions completely unfazed but not me. This really could be a disability.  I am relieved to understand that I may not be overly judgmental after all, I have a disorder that quite possibly with proper treatment and/or therapy I too can thrive in society. Yes, I should really seek help. I am confident that after routine assistance my judgmental demeanor will soften remarkably. The next time a parent asks whether or not Halloween is an official school holiday (meaning the school is closed) so that she will have enough time to straighten her children's hair for a party later that afternoon, I can simply smile and answer "no ma'am school is still open for Halloween" as if that was the most common conversation ever on school grounds. After treatment I will no longer entertain ringing the unmedicated parent alarm and immediately contacting Child Protective Services.