How active of a participant are you in your own life? That's what I ask myself from time to time. How actively involved am I in my own redemption? A life of progression will require my full participation. Coasting along will never do. Momentary pauses to reflect, meditate and exhale in gratitude are very necessary but one must keep going. Life is not a spectator's sport. One must be actively engaged. I release many things to God but with the firm notion that "faith without works is dead" I struggle to know what's my work and what's God's work. In Montessori jargon, I still hesitate in not touching "Teacher's work". I am in no sense a quitter or a coward. I do not faint. Fainting is not an option. Fainting is only reserved for the helpless damsels in distress in those old black and movie classic movies. I do not give up but there are spaces in time when you know that the life you are living isn't life at all and certainly nowhere close to an abundant life. Do you concede? Do you give up on that life? For me, I am learning to listen closely for direction as to the duration of a class. Yes, I said the duration of the class. Every single thing that we go through is a lesson of sorts. There is no failure in God. Experiences we go through are lessons to discovering aspects of ourselves that require healing, ascension, redemption or expansion on some level. Lessons arrive in the form jobs, relationships, friendships and exchanges of all sorts. I believe that I've allowed some lessons to go on much longer than necessary. Once you understand a thing and its purpose you are better prepared to maintain it and entertain it in your life. You will also know when its time has expired. Full knowledge of these things means that you are actively participating in your own life. Realizing that I am reaching that level of living means a great deal to me. Prior to coming to this delightful place of understanding I was haphazardly going through life reacting to things and situations. Discernment was a distant relative of mine. I cried out to God for relief from many things like a bratty toddler. I wanted relief and rescuing from my life, a life that I was not experiencing, only enduring. Right now, I am conceding defeat to a work environment that threatens my mental state of mind. My season is up. I have learned a great deal there. However, my idea of a decent work day does not begin with a migraine before eleven o'clock in the morning. Coping with the inconsistency and utter disorganization of the workplace should not be found in a daily happy hour. I am so proud of myself for recognizing the toxic effects of an environment that is incongruent with who I am as a person. Yaay me! I evaluated a dilemma, asked for guidance, walked in courage and confidently exited stage left with an intact mind. This is full participation in a life that I am actively creating. I love it. I might as well love it, seeing as I am the one living it.
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